Stop People-Pleasing: Finding Your Voice & Getting Respect

For most of my life, I wanted to be liked. I said yes when I really wanted to say no. I took on extra work, kept quiet when someone crossed the line, and smiled even when something didn’t feel right.

I thought being nice meant being liked or loved. But I learned something powerful: being liked doesn’t always mean being respected.

Respect comes from knowing your worth and showing others how to treat you. It took time, but I stopped people-pleasing. I found my voice.

And now, I want to help you find yours too.

Let me share a few moments that helped shift my mindset.

In the Workplace

1. State your boundary: “I’m at capacity right now and can’t take on more.”

2. Stay firm but kind: “I want to help, but it wouldn’t be fair to commit and not give it my best.”

3. Offer an alternative (if you want): “You might try reaching out to [Name] or maybe rescheduling?”

   
   

In Friendships:

1. Be honest: “I feel like our friendship is a bit one-sided, and that’s been weighing on me.”

2. Share your needs: “I value our connection, but I also need support and time when it’s me who’s in need.”

3. See how they respond: “Can we find a better balance?”

   
   

In Romantic Relationships

I once stayed in a relationship way past its expiration date just to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

When I finally ended it, I felt bad. But I also felt free.

This is what helped me through:

1. Speak from your truth: “I’ve realized I’m not happy in this relationship.” (usr your own words and verbiage)

2. Own your choice: “This isn’t about blaming you. It’s about me choosing what I need.” (use your own words and verbiage)

3. Stay calm and clear: “I’m making this decision for my well-being.” (use your own words and verbiage)

   
   

Saying no doesn’t make you mean. It makes you real. It makes you brave.

And people may not like it at first, especially if they’re used to the “yes” version of you. But the right people will adjust.

The wrong ones will fall away. Either way, you win.

If you’re starting this journey, I want you to hold onto seven affirming mantras.

Say one each morning or say them all. What matters is that you believe them.

7 Mantras to Start Your Day Strong

Monday: I do not need to shrink to be accepted.

Tuesday: Saying no is an act of self-respect.

Wednesday: I am allowed to take up space.

Thursday: My time and energy are valuable.

Friday: I trust myself to speak with strength and grace

Saturday: I am not responsible for other people’s comfort.

Sunday: I choose myself without guilt.

You are not here to be everyone's favorite. You are here to be yourself.

Speak up. Set the boundary. Say no. And most of all, say yes to you.