I’m Not Hard to Manage, I’m Just Hard to Fool

I’ve heard it more times than I can count.

"High performers are hard to manage."

Let me clear that up right now.

We are not hard to manage.

We are just not easy to fool.

As a high-performing woman, I know how that label can be twisted.

It’s not that I’m dramatic.

I don’t need hand-holding.

I’m not asking for special treatment.

What I am asking for is clarity, purpose, consistency, and accountability.

That’s not “difficult.” That’s called standards.

High performers like me are focused, passionate, and driven.

We know what good work looks like because we do it ourselves.

We hold ourselves to a high standard, so we expect the same from our leaders.

And when that leadership is weak or lazy, yes, we are going to notice and call it out.

Not to create conflict, but because we care about doing things right.

We are the ones asking tough questions.

The ones who want direct feedback.

The ones who don’t settle for excuses or blurry expectations.

If a leader dances around the truth or shrinks away from hard conversations, we notice.

And respect starts to slip away fast.

Once that respect is gone, it doesn’t come back.

Here’s what I’ve learned about protecting my time and energy as a high performer:

I ask for what I need upfront

Whether it's clarity on a goal, better communication, or a clear path forward, I’ve stopped assuming people will just “get it.” I ask.

And if I don’t get it, I move accordingly.

I don't take on emotional labor that's not mine

It’s not my job to manage fragile egos or tiptoe around avoidant leadership.

I do my part, and I do it well.

But I no longer carry what isn’t mine to hold.

I protect my peace at all costs

Just because I can carry a lot doesn’t mean I should.

If something is wasting my time, draining me, or going nowhere, I say so.

I remove myself if I have to.

I choose projects and people who value high standards

I’m not interested in doing the bare minimum.

I want to be around people who care.

People who stretch themselves.

People who don’t hide behind excuses like “we’re all doing our best” when clearly we are not.

I no longer overfunction for underperformers

I used to pick up slack to keep things moving.

Now I let people own their responsibilities.

If they fail, they fail.

That’s not on me.

Growth doesn’t happen without accountability.

For any woman reading this who is also a high performer, let me say this:

you are not “too much.” You are not difficult. You are not the problem.

You just see clearly what some people would rather ignore.

And that is your power.

You don’t need to shrink to be easier to manage.

You don’t need to quiet your standards to make others feel more comfortable.

Keep asking for better. Keep raising the bar.

Because the right people won’t call you difficult. They’ll call you a leader.

Have you ever been labeled “difficult” for simply expecting better?

I would love to hear your experience. Your voice might be exactly what another woman needs to feel seen today.