I’d Rather Start Over Than Keep Begging to Be Accepted

There’s a moment that it hits you.

Sometimes quietly, sometimes like a gut punch.

For me, it came after years of trying to shape myself into what other people wanted.

Smiling when I wanted to cry.

Shrinking myself to make others comfortable.

Saying yes when every cell in my body was screaming no.

And one day, I just... stopped.

I looked around and realized the very people I had spent all that energy trying to please?

None of them were even in my life anymore.

Some disappeared when I stopped entertaining them.

Some just faded into the background and disappeared.

And some stuck around, but only if I did what they wanted.

Only if I stayed who they wanted me to be.

That’s when it hit me.

You shouldn't have to beg to be picked or chosen!

Let me repeat that for the people in the back, "You should NOT have to beg to be picked or chosen!"

Why was I fighting so hard for a seat at a table where I couldn’t even be myself?

Why was I constantly auditioning for a role I didn’t even want anymore?

Honestly, it felt humiliating.

Like I was handing out parts of myself to people who didn’t value them.

And it was exhausting. So exhausting.

I started asking myself different questions.

What if I just started over?

What if I gave myself the space to be fully me, even if that meant doing it around strangers?

What if I stopped trying to be understood and instead focused on understanding myself?

The truth?

That thought was both terrifying and freeing.

Terrifying because starting over sounds scary and lonely.

But freeing because I was already feeling scared and alone... while surrounded by people.

At least this time, I’d be alone in my truth, not in someone else’s version of me.

I’m not interested in convincing anymore.

I’m interested in attracting.

In becoming the kind of woman who is so at peace with who she is, that the right people simply find her.

If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I’d say this:

Stop twisting yourself into versions of you that fit their preferences.

You weren’t born to be a placeholder in other people’s comfort zones.

You were born to be real. Raw. Unapologetically whole.

I wish I had learned this sooner, but I’m grateful I know it now.

And maybe that’s enough.

What about you? Have you ever felt like you were performing just to be accepted? What helped you reclaim your space?

Your story might help another woman breathe a little deeper today.